Indoor Survival

Often times, love tackles you when you least expect it. For some, it might be an innocent trip to the coffee shop or a fateful moment at the supermarket with a serendipitous can of refried beans. For me, it was stepping through a mysterious wormhole looking for adventure.

 Hooking up with an interdimensional goddess can make for some awkward moments. Different cultures, different laws of physics. You just have to be flexible and open-minded about what’s possible and not let the small things get in the way of a profoundly enriching experience.

 My girl is on a whole other level. I can't even imagine being with an Earth girl again. Once you've climaxed simultaneously on multiple planes of existence, you're a permanently changed man. Literally. For one thing, skin and flesh are no longer necessary, so they immediately vaporized. Good riddance to all that dead weight; I never knew how light and agile I could be without my muscles and tendons getting in the way. I feel so free and unburdened now. I don't get sunburned; my back and shoulders don't ache anymore. I feel better than ever—like I could leap buildings in a single bound and shit.

 Some Debbie Downers are all like, "Oh, but you're bald." Or, "Gross, your eye sockets are empty." To those nay-sayers, I pose only one question—"You know who else is a skeleton?" Basically, everyone who was ever brilliant and famous. Beethoven? Skeleton. Rembrandt? Skeleton. Jimmy Hendrix? Skeleton. My crew rolls deeper than a black hole and Friday night poker is with an A-List from the stars. 

 So, like I said, don't let the small things get in the way of a rewarding experience. If you are ready for love—love will find you. With an open mind, a universe of quantum possibilities and undying affection awaits.